It’s been a while since my last blog entry here, and I’ll be honest and tell you it’s because I temporarily fell off the wagon. Not for the whole time. For some of the time I was clinging to it by my fingernails while it sped down the street with the driver trying to shake me free!
It’s never easy sticking to a change in diet, especially when it’s such a radical change. I’ve come to realise that hiccups, stumbling blocks and dead ends are natural, but what makes me successful in the long run is how I deal with them. There was a time I would’ve just given up for the whole day or weekend even if I’d only had a couple of little squares of chocolate, because I’d broken my healthy eating regime so I may as well go the whole hog and just eat what I wanted for the rest of the day. The problem with that was trying to get back onto that healthy regime, because what I’ve also realised is that as long as I can get through the first three or four weeks, the rest is much easier. Going back to the beginning because of an epic leap from the wagon was absolutely no fun!
I’ve spent the last year kicking myself repeatedly for re-gaining some of the weight I lost. I think back to my lowest weight in my adult life and it was 3 stones ago. I’ve sent many pieces of clothing to charity shops in the last six months, all because I can’t fit into them anymore and that nagging reminder was making me more and more frustrated and disappointed with myself. So I decided I needed to start fresh, and consequently most of those clothes disappeared.
I recently commented to someone that it’s not possible to move forward until you stop obsessing over the past, and in that moment I realised I wasn’t just talking about him. I, and probably most of us, spend too much time thinking about what was, what could’ve been ‘if only’, what should’ve been, when that’s the most destructive thing I can do. So I’ve been retraining myself to look forward. On the spreadsheets, graphs and apps I’ve used over the past few years I’ve deleted my old records because seeing them doesn’t help me. I don’t need to look at a graph with the line that’s going back up because of the weight I’ve gained, I need to start a new one with a baseline and weekly updates from now (well, two weeks ago).
I have my focus back. I’m motivated to get my BMI below 30 by the end of the year (but if I can do it by November I’ll be blimmin ecstatic!). I have plans for my future and I’m not willing to negotiate. I lose this weight and get fit, and that’s it; no ifs or buts, just get on with it, because the future I have as my goal is much more important than eating chocolate and crisps in front of the TV. Unless I’m watching Benedict Cumberbatch with my wireless headphones nice and loud, then a square or two of fantastic quality chocolate takes the experience to a whole new level and should be regarded as a marvellous treat ;)
So my weight update:
Since January I’ve lost 10.8lbs, of which 5.8lbs was in the last 10 days
I’m back!
